How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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