I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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