you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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