no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
this hospital has no fireball
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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