you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
