just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my poor anus
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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