You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
