Its about making memories worth repressing
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My breasts were aching with rage.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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