So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
