I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
