and you said cock pushups were impossible
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
