I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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