Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
