i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
