Got a toothbrush?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
