this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
this is an emotional support booty call
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
