dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize