I must be too annoying 4 u.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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