i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
