you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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