I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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