guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's blow job season.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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