Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
