I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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