drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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