butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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