hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
