I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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