Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
