it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
being pregnant is like rehab
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize