we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
