I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
