people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
