he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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