I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
