You work out of a Hotel?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
