His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
