Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
