so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
