that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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