Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
