so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
