She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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