yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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