quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
