And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize