I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
