it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
