Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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