He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
