i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
