what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My vagina is officially offended.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
