just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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