she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
