i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
