and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize