I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
