wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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