maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sober January is a disaster.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
