The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
